separation of church and my state.

i just got home from church.  we’re having dinner soon and then i suppose i should start wrapping presents.  procrastination isn’t why i’m writing and i apologize in advance if this brings down your christmas spirit, it’s not meant to.

at 25, i go to church twice a year.  christmas eve and easter.  both instances with my family.  i used to be highly active in my church.  youth group.  confirmation.  the whole nine yards.  then, like what happens to most, college came around and life marched on; leaving religion behind.

maybe when i have my own family, own town to live in, etc. becoming active in a church again might benefit my kids.  in the meantime, i’m too much of a cynical smart-ass to sit through a sunday morning service or fein appropriate pleasantries.   yes, i’ve volunteered to help re-do their web presence but that is different than actually attending services.  i’m not negating the time i’ve given to my church and religion.  it has helped me in life, no doubt.  offering my skills is my gesture of thanks.

although, every year at the same point in the same service, my cynicism is torn down.  the most upsetting part of this entire evening was, before they collected your monies and ended the service on a high note (read:  singing joy to the world); when we sang silent night and i read the back of the program that listed all the christmas flower donations.

in loving memory of this person.  merry christmas that person.  there they were, sort of beacons in the foggy night.  people reaching out trying to touch their lost & loved ones on one of the most lonely nights of the year.