July 2002
splinter-core.
sometimes, the mind-less shit i do at work enables me to think about other things. today, i recalled a dream i frequently had as a child. i used to hate having dreams. any at all. i’d say a “prayer” to the “dream gods” before i went to sleep, asking that my head not be filled with any wayward thoughts. 95% of the time, it worked. anyway, one dream always bugged...
Jul 26th
uncertain terms.
“try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost. “ -henry james did i spell “uncertain” wrong? i’m not sure. heh. well, today began the last month of me being a teenager. two decades of this bullshit is approaching. oh, the drama. being 20 is so useless. “so close, yet so far.” what makes me vomit is my parents were pretty much engaged at...
Jul 25th
"i gave her my heart and she gave me a pen."
i probably should’ve seen say anything a lot sooner. after watching it, i thought about all the girls i’ve been in relationships with. i still care for them all. mostly. but there’s only one that i could really see myself with. she’s not my “dream girl.” i don’t really have one of those, i suppose. however, she’s my “dream...
Jul 21st
it ain't no fun if the homies can't have none.
i used a jack hammer today. a real live jack hammer. it was fun. i calculated that i missed out on making at least a grand if i had stayed home and worked instead of spending time in vermont. it’s cool though. i made $610 this week. mmm, money. right about now is one of those times i wish i had a quality fake or was 21. i have the house to myself for the weekend. oh well. ...
Jul 19th
fat kids kissing.
learning is good chinese food and the new york times magazine. “i guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. get busy living or get busy dying.” -shawshank
Jul 15th
paradise.
it’s overrated. believe me, i’ve been there. if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesterdays are buried deep-leave it any way except a slow way. never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a...
Jul 12th